What a Mess!

I go to scrapbook club at a friend's house once a month to "get out" and do some scrap booking. This month is my month to bring food. I went to the store to get everything I needed. I made the brownies, no problem. I made the taco dip, no problem. I go to make roll ups with taco sauce, and guess what I do. I drop the jar out of the fridge. It went SPLAT! Normally, I would project the anger at my stupid move to my husband. Since he's not here, I didn't have anyone to yell at. So I look at the mess, and say a curse word. How am I gonna clean up all this mess?!?! Many paper towels later, it's all up, and I too am covered in taco sauce.

Hopefully I won't drop the other dishes as I take them to the car! Now I have laundry to do. Ick.

Here I go again on my own...

Welcome to my blog about being single again. I won't get into all the details, but will dish the basics. He and I was set up by mutual friends. We dated, he moved in and we got engaged. I wanted to make sure it was the one and only time I did it. Overall, after 2 1/2 years we got married. I thought he was the perfect guy for me. After less than a year of marriage, I found out about MULTIPLE, LONG-TERM affairs, and many lies. So what would most women do? Divorce. I went to a lawyer and began the paperwork. Next day, I find out I'm pregnant for the first time by my husband. After MUCH thinking and talking...I decided to work through it, and ended the proceedings. He moved back in, and a couple weeks later, we lost the baby. I was crushed. Promises of changes soon ended, and similar behaviors began again. We stuck it out 2 more years after job loss & changes, and financial strain. Then after a heated argument, things almost got ugly, and that made my decision that it just wasn't going to work.

So that brings you up to date. Here I am, single again, at 32 years old. I have never NEEDED a man for anything. I lived on my own for several years before marriage, worked 2 to 3 jobs to make ends meet. Now I think I am secure in the job I have. I am a homeowner, and as you may know...there's always something.

The big thing that happened today. Mowing. That's right. I said Mowing. I have NEVER mowed a whole yard in my entire life. Did you know they start better with gas in them? Haha... I had to call my dad to ask how to start it. I knew to hold the lever and pull the string. I didn't know about priming. I did that, and then no gas. Got the gas, still didn't start. Primed some more. No start. Primed again, and I'm getting peeved by this point. Voila! It starts. The biggest challenge was getting UP this steep slope I have in the back yard. I have this silly little feeling of accomplishment. I'm sure I looked pretty funny out there cursing and yanking the cord.

I'm on a couple personals sites to "see what's out there." Guess what it is? Guys who have kids, which is fine. Guys who are doomed for eternal bachelorhood. Not fine. Guys who want skinny, athletic, toned ladies. Ok, not me. But they all want the nice down to earth funny girl, which fits me perfect. But I'm not skinny. I'm not a moo cow either. Just a bit heavier than I should be. I know this. But I HATE working out. I am comfortable in my skin. I know who I am and what I want. I think this scares them away!

Tomorrow I go to the courthouse, and check into filing for divorce there without lawyers.

Stay tuned. More adventures to come!